♪How do you solve a problem ♪like♪ Star Wars♪? (Parto Fiveo)

In the deep depths of space, there is only war, continual war…

…..

Oh wait, wrong franchise.

Sadly, someone should have told that to the editors crafting the next series of Star Wars books. The New Jedi Order was 20+ books long and was nothing but the Star Wars Galaxy fighting off an alien invasion. It delved deeply into grim territory. Back in the Correllian Trilogy and other books, Luke and Mara had a son named Ben. Han and Leia had 3 kids, Jacen, Jain and Anakin. These series were meant to pass on the story torch to a new generation. Sadly, hardly one author could do so and the storylines after NJO became even more convoluted and outlandish. The Star Wars torch began to gutter out.

 

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The Yuuhzon Vong invade. They worship pain and are outside the Force
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Also, they are a complete culture of warriors. And Chewie dies.
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Jaina begins her training as Sword of the Jedi while Jacen begins flirting with the Dark Side
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Anakin sacrifices himself and Luke brings the Yuuzhon Vong into the Force
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Bugs and a wicked bad storyline

 

Folks, there was simply nothing good about these books. Redemption was swept aside and carnage, on a planetary scale, was the name of the game. Surely things will get better from here every fan asked…

 

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♪How do you solve a problem ♪like♪ Star Wars♪? (Parto Cuatroo)

These books show some of the best of the EU and some of the worst. Writers, while not quite having a blank check, did not have a lot of backstory to worry about or future story to worry about. It was a wide open range and they wrote with all the vigor of a herd of buffalos. Some of the writings smelled like a herd of buffalos had camped too. Win some and lose some I guess.

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We’re keeping the X-Wing books.
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Stackpole wrote well….
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…and Allston wrote funny
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One of these books wa a real stinker. Hint- it wasn’t the one where Han woos Leia…
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Anderson wrote a hack trilogy
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Before there was Mara Jade, there was Callista. She was supposed to be a love interest for Luke. Didn’t work out.
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Only a Star Wars Completist would read either of these!
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Thus the taming of Star Wars was complete

 

After these books, the Star Wars EU entered into real Franchise territory, with large storylines being plotted out by editors and multiple authors taking up the mantle. Honestly, the Powers that Be wanted Star Wars to be edgier, grittier and darker. I feel that these books here, no matter how badly written, still captured the spirit of hope and redemption that was showcased in the original movies. Prepare yourselves for dark times ahead.

 

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♪How do you solve a problem ♪like♪ Star Wars♪? (Parto Treso)

Ok, it is only Wednesday and I’ve already watched way more Youtube than I ever want to for the rest of my life. I feel like my brain has inhaled whole bottles of spray cheese.

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Poodles are to Dogs what Easy Cheese is to Cheese

Ughh. How do people DO this? I think I’m ready to read just about anything, even a romance! *shudder*

 

Ok, now we are moving on to books immediately surrounding the first movie trilogy, with Luke, Han and Leia taking centerstage, as they should.

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A treso of trilogies. Han Solo Adventures are WAY better than the Han Solo Trilogy

 

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The Han Solo Adventures in individual hardcovers. Written in 1979 and 1980. Awesome baby!

 

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Yoda was BLUE in the novelization. Weird huh?

 

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I call these the Miquels, as they take place in the Middle of the trilogy between the main events

 

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These “Tales” books were good, except for the Bounty Hunter Wars. That was bad.

 

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Quite possibly the worst Star Wars book I ever read.  Tied with The Crystal Star, which will be in another post

Alien reptiles in robot bodies that eat the Force. THAT is the quality of story you got in one of these books. I doubt you have to guess very hard which one. You can’t fake this folks, it really was written about and worked into the now defunct EU canon. This was the beginning of the Wild West Era of Star Wars. Luke smashed moons together, Han flew the galaxy. Leia, well, honestly, she didn’t do a whole lot yet. But don’t worry, her heyday is just around the corner.

 

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♪How do you solve a problem ♪like♪ Star Wars♪? (Parto Doso)

Since the last couple of reads I’ve had just plain stank, I’m taking a week long break from reading and posting reviews. I’m wasting my time on Youtube, so that I can feel ever so superior once I stop next week and posting book covers to keep my blog alive.

Self-Righteous Nihilism without apology. And anger. Because Star Wars used to be great (even if the stories were terrible, and let me tell you, some of them were B-A-D!!!!!) and now it’s drunk and puking in the gutters, begging for spare change from any passing stranger. Even Forgotten Realms has more dignity these days.

So hearken back with me to the glory days when we all thought Star Wars could be great again.

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Traviss could write, but man, did she hate the very idea of the Jedi and she let that hatred shine on through in her writing
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Half of these books were pretty good and the other half really stank
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The novelization of the Revenge of the Sith was probably one of the best Star Wars books I have ever read. If the movie had been half as good, it would have been the best Star Wars movie anyone had ever seen

 

And this brings us up to the Infamous Episode 3.  That movie was a dagger in the heart of a lot of fans. Not the story necessarily, but the poor acting, poor writing and poor directing. Lucas is squarely to blame.  It took a lot of “I love Star Wars” for me to buy some of these back in the day.

 

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♪How do you solve a problem ♪like♪ Star Wars♪? (Parto Uno)

What with having 4 books in a row just be beyond stinkers, I’m taking a break from reading for a week.

I used to be a huge star wars fan. But that fandom began its death back in ’12 or so and its death throes happened when I watched The Force Awakens. I had been collecting Star Wars books ever since the 90’s though and continued to buy them in hardcover from the Science Fiction Book Club up until I bought  Kenobi near the end of ’13.  I have accumulated a lot of Star Wars novels, with most of them being in hardcover. They take up 3 shelves, double stacked, on one of my book shelves and honestly, it is time for them to go. Mrs B wants to keep the X-Wing books as they are just good adventure stories, star wars or no star wars.

I don’t know what to do with them all now. So before I make any decisions, I’m just going to do a couple of posts showcasing them all so if I ever feel regret once they’re gone, I can simply look at these posts and be all good.

 

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From the very failed Old Republic video game novel tie-ins

 

 

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Darth Bane Trilogy

 

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Prequels leading up to Episode One aka The Phantom Menace

 

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All 4 variant covers for Episode One.

 

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Prequels leading up to Episode Two, aka Attack of the Clones

 

 

 

I’ve tried to group my books together by Era, which seems the best way. I believe it is all chronological, but with them no longer being canon, who knows.  14 books, with about 90+ more to go. Hope you all like Star Wars covers 😉

 

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The Jedi Doth Return (William Shakespeare’s Star Wars #3)

5fd17a25cc4b7d74e6ea8ccc06138926This review is written with a GPL 3.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at Bookstooge.booklikes.blogspot.wordpress.leafmarks.com & Bookstooge’s Reviews on the Road Facebook Group by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission.

Title: The Jedi Doth Return

Series: William Shakespeare’s Star Wars

Author: Ian Doescher

Rating: 4 of 5 Battle Axes

Genre: SFF

Minutes: 215

Format: Audio book

 

 

 

Synopsis:

No summary, why bother? I know this story beyond what I care about.

 

My Thoughts:

I ended up listening to half of this while working at the office the other weekend. And that was a problem. I knew this story, so I didn’t feel it necessary to actually listen to this and hence I would simply zone out and miss huge chunks of the story.

Which was ok since I knew the story.

But if this had been another book, it would have been a complete failure and I would have missed so much that nothing would have made sense. It did make me realize that I can only listen to audiobooks while driving to and from work.

The Empire Striketh Back (William Shakespeare’s Star Wars #2)

f3199848fe918afd1cc4d47eed697e6eThis review is written with a GPL 3.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at Bookstooge.booklikes.blogspot.wordpress.leafmarks.com & Bookstooge’s Reviews on the Road Facebook Group by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission.

Title: The Empire Striketh Back

Series: William Shakespeare’s Star Wars

Author: Ian Doescher

Rating: 4 of 5 Battle Axes

Genre: SFF

Minutes: 205

Format: Audio book

 

 

 

Synopsis:

The Star Wars Saga continues, but in addition to iambec pentameter, we also get haiku (5-7-5) and prose. Prose from Boba Fett.

 

My Thoughts:

My first audio book. I listened to this going to and from work and it worked very well. Since I already knew the story, it was easy to just listen and go with the flow.

I have to say, this was a much BETTER version than just reading it. Shakespeare is meant to  be on the stage and since Doescher copies it all, this is meant to be read aloud too.

In regards to audio, I still don’t think it is for me. I find it too easy to simply relegate what I am hearing as background noise and hence simply tune it out. After the next book in this trilogy, I’ll probably look for some of Shakespeare’s plays and simply listen to them as well. My commute is only about 20min, so that is a good amount of time for little chunks of audio.

 

Verily, A New Hope (William Shakespeare’s Star Wars #1)

azure_f0ea052a3ad3a0c65043b80f6e626369This review is written with a GPL 3.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at Bookstooge.booklikes.blogspot.wordpress.leafmarks.com & Bookstooge’s Reviews on the Road Facebook Group by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission.

Title: Verily, A New Hope

Series: William Shakespeare’s Star Wars

Author: Ian Doescher

Rating: 3.5 of 5 Battle Axes

Genre: SFF

Pages: 174

 

 

 

Synopsis:

Star Wars, done in iambec pentameter. If you don’t know Star Wars, don’t read this.

 

My Thoughts:

The first time I read this, I rather hated it. This time, I bravely made my way through. I found myself reading it aloud and it made it much better.

I suspect hearing this read aloud would be the best choice. I might try that for the next two. I need an audible version.

 

Tarkin (Star Wars) (ARC)

89bdb3e0b52da066249ad32cf3f48371 I received this copy from the publisher through Netgalley.com and that in no way has influenced my opinion in regards to this review.

This review is written with a GPL 3.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at Bookstooge.booklikes.blogspot.wordpress.leafmarks.tumblr.com by express permission of this reviewer.

Title: Tarkin

Series: Star Wars

Author: James Luceno

Rating: 2.5 of 5 Stars

Genre: SFF

Pages: 289

 

Synopsis:

This book is the dual story about past and present of Tarkin. The past is about his beginning of life and rise to power and the forces that shaped him while the present story is a little adventure about the beginnings of the Rebellion and the Deathstar.

Which I believe completely throws the book Deathstar under the bus continuity-wise, but eh, what else is new in the Star Wars universe these days?

 

My Thoughts:

I enjoyed Kenobi but not this. It was bland, not that interesting and I found myself constantly checking my Kindle to see how much more I had before I would be at the end.

Which, to be honest, is how a lot of Star Wars book are but it used to be that I could ignore that and pick out whatever good I could because I really enjoyed the Extended Universe. But with Disney’s eradication of the EU my fandom turned to distaste and hence my thoughts are no longer so charitable.

I’ve been reading a lot of Forgotten Realms recently and the Star Wars books reminds me of those but not as fun. I guess I was looking for this book to redeem the actions that Disney took and it failed beyond belief in that regards and as a story was just a typical Star Wars book.

With that being said, I think I’m pretty much done with the Star Wars book universe. Doesn’t mean I won’t read the occasional one, especially once the sequel movies come out, but I certainly won’t be waiting for each book to come out so that I can devour it.

A big fat ‘meh’.

Maul: Lockdown (Star Wars)

77327472dd33e852e40af5cb9424d21c This review is written with a GPL 3.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at Bookstooge.booklikes.blogspot.wordpress.com by express permission of this reviewer

 

Synopsis:

Maul is sent undercover to a prison to ferret out the identity of an Arm’s Dealer and to buy a proscribed weapon from him to further one of Palpatine’s devious schemes.

 

 

My Thoughts:

I enjoyed this book more than I did the previous 2 by Schreiber. Mainly because it wasn’t lame-o horror but a typical action/thriller.

Think Cage Match on a self-contained prison satellite. And Maul gets to do most of the fighting. The whole reason he is there is razor thin plotwise, but let us be honest with ourselves, I don’t read Star Wars for it’s Dickens’ like plots, characters and settings.

I can see people enjoying or not enjoying this book, depending on their mood at time of reading. If I’d been grumpy, I’d probably have torn this book apart for the shallow piece of tripe that it is; but I wasn’t grumpy, so I enjoyed the rollercoaster action and the all most non-stop fighting.

I also went into this with ZERO expectations. After the news about the gutting of the Extended Universe a little bit ago, my fandomometer went right down to empty. So since I enjoyed the action, I ended up enjoying the whole book.

Also, I really liked the fact that Schreiber makes a no holds barred confession that he’s a Christian in his intro/ending/thanks/whatever. That encourages me.

 

Rating: 3 of 5 Stars

Author: Joe Schreiber

Maul: Lockdown

Star Wars