Project X – G

For all the bionic details about what led to the Creation of Project X, please visit the Intro Post. It’s totally worth six million bionic dollars.

LIKE
Granola

I talked about Granola in one of my Survival Saturday posts a couple of years ago. Whether it is long term survival food or just a yummy breakfast option. Granola has you covered. Healthy and nutritious, it has what you need to keep you going for a long work day or hiking to the last bastion of civilization upon the collapse of the world as we know it.

I’ve actually tossed a couple of the granola and whey milk packets into our 3day Go-bag so if the worst ever happens we have several days of food immediately on hand. Granola just keeps you going!

DISLIKE
Gutenberg Editor (Block editor)

Hideously evil, I have never known such a travesty. Changing WordPress from a WYSIWYG platform to a website building platform, thousands of casual bloggers have been tossed out on their ear by Automattic™. No longer is WordPress a bastion for writers, it is now a haunt of the money crazed bastards who want to monetize their sites at your expense.

While I am acclimatized to this new evil, I do not like it one bit. It still makes me Angry just thinking about it.


And that is it for this week. Stay tuned for our next episode, where things are going to REALLY heat up!

#Stopthestealing Me Lucky Charms!

It has come to my attention that there are Leprechauns among us, trying to steal our Lucky Charms.

I am here to assert my rights to defend my Lucky Charms with Maximum Force.

If Steven Seagal won’t protect our National Treasure, then it falls upon my shoulders to bear this burden. My fingers are on the big red button, don’t think I won’t do it. If Lucky the Leprechaun keeps on assaulting the sovereignty of my cereal bowl, there will be deadly repercussions!

#stopthestealing

Funny Food Figures

This week is Mrs. Bookstooge’s birthday! That’s right. Mr. Bookstooge declared that since this is the grand week of my birth, I can draw and post upon this grand technological medium.

We joked about food and now this post consists of three drawings I doodled last week about food. If you support this post, make sure to tell Mr. Bookstooge to take me out for dinner. *elbows* Right? Right?!? Just admit I’m right. Vote restaurant food today!

Once upon a time there was a television show entitled ‘Lamb Chop’s Play-Along’ staring a sheep puppet and a lady ventriloquist.

Almost all the students I knew in my school in California made fun of the show stating “lamb chop” wasn’t even good enough for eating, which I found amusing since almost everyone in my school was a vegetarian.

Mr. Bookstooge finds Pork Chops amusing and I like to sing therefore you shall now have “this is the song that never ends” as your best friend. 😉

Once upon a time Mr. Bookstooge and I traveled north to relax in a cabin, go kayaking and canoeing, and listen to some health lectures.

The food served was vegan. Unfortunately, Mr. Bookstooge had no idea. I was very aware of this fact and only put a little bit of most things onto a plate and was good. Mr. Bookstooge FILLED his plate with vegan mac and vegan cheese. Let’s just say the restroom was occupied for quite some time as a result.

Therefore, Mr. Bookstooge occasionally teases me about pretty much every vegan food I eat, leading to this precious potato drawing. 😀

Here’s grumpy cat with a pancake hat. As you can tell, I had a LOT of trouble drawing a pancake. Maybe next year I’ll draw a cake instead of a pancake for my birthday.

Unfortunately, pictures and words online can’t be eaten. Therefore, remember to tell Mr. Bookstooge that dinner is important, right? Right?!? Right. Eat your veggies, kids. Mrs. Bookstooge out.

Survival Saturday — Awwww, Grottin Taters (Precioussss)

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For all the Why’s and Wherefore’s of Survival Saturday, please visit the Intro Post. Thanks!

 

This month we decided to try Au Gratin Potatoes. Let’s just say, that along with the majority of the Efoods Gold products, it was a big fat failure! Not even Sam and Frodo, starving to death in Mordor, would have eaten this finished product.

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“What’s taters, precious?”

 

Nutritional Info:

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Directions & Ingredients:

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Things Needed:

Water, pots, whisk and the stomach of a starving gargant

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Walker, the starving gargant

.

 

Impressions:

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I knew we were getting something special when I had to use TWO packages, because good things always come in two’s, right? However, the preservative, that in previous posts I’ve thought was turmeric, was once against front and center. As soon as I opened the package of seasoning and mixed it up in the bowl I knew we weren’t going to get far. It is just bitter and nasty. I would HAVE to be starving to want to eat  more than an exploratory bowl of this stuff.

 

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We both agreed that we liked the potato part and I wouldn’t mind cooking up the additional packages of potatoes and just eating them with salt n pepper or cheese or something, but that packet of “au gratin” flavoring? No thanks!

I might have said this before in previous posts, but the supplier, Efoodsdirect, has either gone out of business or been bought out or something. They no longer exist as a company, which considering their food is supposed to last for 25 years, is wicked ironic, don’cha think?

 

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Survival Saturday – Stroganoff

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For all the Why’s and Wherefore’s of Survival Saturday, please visit the Intro Post. Thanks!

 

This month we decided to try Legacy Stroganoff.

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Nutritional Info:

 

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Yeah, “nutrition”….

 

 

Ingredients:

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I think this had the biggest ingredients list so far.  Thank goodness “natural flavors” made the cut though. Dehydrated survival food needs all the help it can get!

 

Things Needed & Directions:

6 cups water

Boil the water, whisk in the package and simmer for 15 minutes. Let stand for 5 minutes then eat the best gourmet stroganoff you’ve ever tasted!  /sarcasm

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Optional Items:

We went hardcore this month. We thought we’d try it just as “nature” intended, so there was no softening of the blow, nothing to fall back on, it was this or die! (Yes, before hand I went through and threw all our food off our 3rd story balcony so we couldn’t eat anything else. Honest! 😉 )

 

Impressions:

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Tumeric. I could smell it from the get go. I’ve also eaten my fair share of Hamburger Helper stroganoff.  This stuff looked worse than HH stroganoff, tasted worse than HH and even the texture of the noodles turned me off. I managed to eat the small bowl I doled out to myself but I couldn’t force myself to try any more.

 

Now Mrs Bookstooge on the other hand, she liked it. She liked the texture of the noodles and didn’t notice much taste of anything. She said the noodles were almost melt in your mouth and she grew up with noodles similar so it was good. She did say if she were to ever make this that she’d add some mushroom soup to give it the little something it was missing flavorwise.  She voluntarily ate a second bowl with a slice of processed cheese and enjoyed it.

Not the worst survival food by any means and considering we had very differing opinions means others will too. I guess when the Apocalypse comes, I’ll let Mrs B eat all of this. I’m just such a gentleman, Ma’am.

 

bookstooge (Custom)

 

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Survival Saturday – Corn Chowdah

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For all the Why’s and Wherefore’s of Survival Saturday, please visit the Intro Post. Thanks!

 

For those (few) of you who aren’t following the weather here in New England, we have a lot of snow. Admittedly, it is quickly being reduced due to rain, but still, a foot of the white stuff is just sitting around on the ground. You know how snow is * eye roll *   So what better food to try out than a quintessential New England food, Corn Chowder?

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Nutritional Info:

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Directions & Ingredients:

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Things Needed:

4 Cups Water

1 Package Corn Chowder

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If you can see any corn to “cook until tender”, please let me know!

 

Optional Items:

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Corn. Pretty self-explanatory for “CORN” chowder right?

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Diced onions make almost everything better (except breakfast cereal)

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Crackers go well with lots of stuff, like peanut butter, cheese and even soups!

 

Impressions:

After our last run-in with Efood and their “Potato” Cheddar Soup, we honestly weren’t to hopeful. Mrs B made up a batch of cheese sticks just in case we had to throw this away instead of eating it. Thankfully, we ate the whole batch of this Corn Chowder.

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You know, I’m not sure ANY of these foods have ever looked appetizing

It was a mild chowder with a nice white sauce base that we both liked. Mrs B really liked it with the additional corn, while I had one bowl with corn and one bowl with crackers. For me, crackers won hands down. I liked the crackers because they bulked it up and made it thicker  instead of so soupy.. I had put the onions in raw and I wished I had sauteed them first, as they were still a little crunchy, but they sure did add some nice flavor.

By the time we were done we both agreed that we’d eat this again and even eat it voluntarily 🙂 If I were to ever order more through Efoods, I’d buy a case of this.

 

Edited to Add:

I just searched for Efoodsdirect. They are no longer in business. So no case of this!

 

 

bookstooge (Custom)

 

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Survival Saturday – The Gingie Edition

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For all the Why’s and Wherefore’s of Survival Saturday, please visit the Intro Post. Thanks!

 

Last time I did a SS post was back in March with Attack of the Ninjabread Men. Which means it has been 2/3’s of a year. I’m a bit out of practice, so I wanted something fun, easy and still foody.  Thank goodness for Krusteaz! This was so easy. All I needed was the mix, 1 stick of butter and 1 egg. To bring this into survival terms, even if technology craps the bed, the plastic the mix is stored in will last for decades and then all you’ll need is a cow and a chicken and voila, you are set!

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This time I learned something from my past experience with Gingerbread. Melted butter and Softened butter are NOT the same thing. So I just let this sit out overnight so it would be nice and soft.

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Cracking an egg is much easier than cracking heads!

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I put ALL the complicated ingredients into a mixing bowl in the perfect proportions.

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Then I hand kneaded the bejabs out of it!

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By the time I was done, it was putty in my hand!

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Then it was time to divide and conquer.

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Finally, I brought them altogether for a family reunion.

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The final step was to flatten them on a cookie sheet and cook them. But obviously, a true Chef never cooks and tells!

 

And that was a good re-introduction to Survival Saturday. Whetted the appetite, as it were. Next month I’ll have a “real” Survival Saturday with another of the long term storage food things. Please look forward to it!

 

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Sandwich Ratings

I was talking with YouKneek over on her thread at LibraryThing (starting about message 275) and we got sidetracked onto what our ratings would be if they were sandwiches.

I through out a whole range off the top of my head but once I was done I realized, this was a subject worthy of a serious blog post. Food is serious business and so is rating books. And considering that I’m Mister Serious, it all fit together, like a toe in a sock in a steel toe’d boot!

So without further ado, I present My Ratings as Sandwiches!

 

1)  Anchovies and (your favorite) Cheese on Toast 

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This is a picture of ricotta cheese (not my favorite btw) and anchovies on toast. The mere sight turns my stomach!

 

2) Peanutbutter and Jelly

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I ate this from 2000 until almost 2010 everyday for lunch. It was economical, easy to change up (different jelly every week) and I loved crunch peanutbutter. Now however, I will go hungry rather than eat one of these. I burned myself out on them and I’ve never recovered from it.

 

3) Turkey bologna and cheese

Open Face baloney and Cheese Sandwich

I use wheat bread instead of white bread (because I’m not a racist!) but this pretty much looks like a bologna sandwich I’d make. Relatively cheap, not for every occasion but giving my body all the fuel it needs during a work day.

 

4) Toasted tomato sandwich

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Toast, mayo, salt and pepper and then sliced up summer tomatoes. Yummmy!

 

5) Reuben on rye but with turkey bacon instead of sauerkraut

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I don’t have a reuben very often. 2-3 times a year at most but I savor them when I do have them. Something about the rye bread just hits my tastebuds square on.

 

I hope you’re hungry now.

 

bookstooge (Custom)

Survive This – Attack of the Ninjabread Men! (Survival Saturday)

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For all the Why’s and Wherefore’s of Survival Saturday, please visit the Intro Post. Thanks!

 

This is not our usual Survival Saturday kind of post. We were over at the McBombfunk’s and Mrs B had a gingerbread kit from Christmas, so we decided to make that. It was quite the ordeal to be honest.  There is a reason I’m not a cook.

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How awesome does that look? Wicked cool…

 

So the adventure began when I started reading the directions. It called for room temp butter. I told Mrs Bombfunk to microwave some, as it was all in the fridge. We melted it right down to liquid. Then the measuring cups they owned had lines halfway up the cup and I thought that was the line. So once I combined all the ingredients it was supposed to be all clumpy together. Instead, it was still just fine flour not really sticking together. Turns out the properties of room temp butter is VERY different from melted butter. Plus, I had used half the amount of water and honey called for.  We finally got it straightened out and ready to shape.

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Thank goodness for plastic!

 

I hadn’t rolled the gingerbread out as thin as I was supposed to, so we ended up with only 6 Ninjabread men instead of 12. And one of them had a “slight” head injury due to my thumb accidentally squashing him when I pushed him out of the mold. But overall, considering the trouble I’d had with putting it all together, they looked like they were on the attack and ready to take on anyone.

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The Special Ed Class version of Ninjas. Poor guys, it was all my fault and it gets even better!

 

While they were baking I put together the frosting/glazing. Well, those darn measuring cups fooled me again only this time it was in the opposite direction and the glazing turned out very milky instead of firming up.

Then the fun began.

Besides the frosting, there was also a bag of hard candy little beads to be used as eyes, etc.  Here’s how everything turned out.

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Poor Ninjabread Men, they didn’t ask for THIS…

 

 

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“Special” Ed and his friend George

 

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Glazed goatees are all the rage these days among Ninjas

 

 

 

 

And if that wasn’t enough, we were trying for a stealth Ninja but he kind of turned into a Sad Clown Ninja.

 

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Cthulhu Ninja Clown is SAD 😦

 

The actual gingerbread was pretty good but the glazing was too sweet and the little hard candies were almost inedible. Mrs B ate her’s like this:

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The Black Knight of Ninjabread Men. He’s still got his goatee!  and a belly button….

 

Once it was all said and done, we had fun. If I’d been trying for serious pictures it would have been an epic fail, but like I said, there is a reason I’m not a top chef with my own tv show.  Bookstooge Ramsay I am not!

 

 

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Survival Saturday – Potato Cheddar Soup

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For all the Why’s and Wherefore’s of Survival Saturday, please visit the Intro Post. Thanks!

 

Today’s offering is the Efoods Gold (known online as Efoodsdirect.com) Potato Cheddar Soup. Sadly,  our experience fit right in with how my reading has gone this month.  Frakking February!

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Doesn’t that look delicious and comforting?

 

Ingredients & Allergens:

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Note please, the “turmeric extract”. That’ll be talked about later

 

Nutritional Info:

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Directions:

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Things Needed:

4.5 Cups of water

1 package Potato and Cheddar Soup mix

 

Optional Items:

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Leftover crescent rolls, from a church ladies’ get together, that nobody wanted. We had 5-8 of these.  *cue ominous and heavy handed foreshadowing music*

 

Impressions:

As soon as we opened the packet to dump it into the boiling water, we both could smell a bitter, astringent smell that we associated with the Chicken Noodle Soup, also by Efoods Gold. We just looked at each other and said “One bowl then we’re dumping the rest”.  We used the full amount of water hoping to alleviate the taste by dilution.

Sadly, it was not to be.  We only took a small bowl apiece.

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We ended up breaking the crescent rolls in half and just sopped up the soup with them. It made the crescent rolls taste good by comparison and we used them up, so not everything went to waste. But when crescent rolls, that nobody else in a group earlier wanted, are the best part of a meal, you know things aren’t good.  The “potato” part of the soup was just as disappointing. They were not little cubes of potatoes or even chunks. They were pinky finger nail sized slices of potato. By the time I was done sopping up with the roll, I had maybe a spoonful of potato, out of a half bowl’s worth of soup.

Mrs B ended up with an upset tummy and I just poured the pot of “food” down the toilet.  This was not good and I’d only ever eat it again if I was starving.  Honestly, I’d rather keep a pantry full of Campbell’s Chunky Soup on hand and just deal with the pain of cycling through them. They’re supposed to last about 2 years and you can eat them right out of the can with no heating, etc. And they taste a heck of a lot better than this stuff.

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Not vegetarian OR kosher,  but when you have no other options, food is food

 

Lessons Learned:

I don’t feel like I’ve wasted my money on this particular brand, Efoods Gold aka Efoodsdirect.com. Long term food storage is becoming more and more complicated these days and having “something” on hand is much better than having nothing.  That being said, I won’t be buying this brand ever again and I’d be hesitant to recommend them to anyone else. Maybe have a one month supply on hand, “just in case” but for more than that I’d recommend canned goods.

However, since this fit right in with how my February went, I just kind of laughed it off and grumped for a bit. Also, it was a Friday night and I’d had a good day, so it all kind of balanced out.

 

 

 

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