I am only 15% into this and I am HATING it. Lots of “Ughhh, WHY did Cook do that?” kind of moments. Garrett is acting stupid beyond anything I’ve seen in the entire series. It feels like he’s permanently drunk in regards to his mental acuity here. It just isn’t like him.
This was written in 2013 and is apparently the last Garrett PI novel. So far, I can see why. Unless there is a miraculous turn around, this is going to be an ugly read.
Sounds like the falter started with the name of it. PLANTINUM would have been a heck of a lot cooler. No puns here!
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Unfortunately, no name changing can save this book 😦
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Well, dang.
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Is this the sequel to Madonna’s Blonde Ambition? The man in the raincoat looks a bit uncomfortable…
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Was that a song or a movie?
That is because the audience is even more uncomfortable….
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I think it was a tour….not a massive Madonna fan…I think you can safely give this one up….
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Are you a Medium Madonna fan?
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I’m certainly not XL, but I’d love to be size 0. A few good hits, and good in Evita, but wouldn’t be keen to sit through a concert….
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Well, don’t you worry. For only one dollar more, you can supersize your fandom!
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Can I be an Xtra Value fan? You don’t strike me as a man in thrall to her disco pop confections…
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Sure. That’ll be 50 quid. What a deal!
While “I” may not be her biggest fan, I’m sure that somewhere, in his mountaintop retreat, Bookstoogevolta is boogying the night away to her disco releases…
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Hung Up and Ray of Light are proper floor fillers. Are you much of a dancer?
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Disco dancer.
None of this modern “flap around like a dead chicken” kind of dancing though. I have standards!
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Ballroom dancer? Tiny dancer? Flossing? Where do you get your moves?
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Dreams. I see the moves in my dreams and use my Ultimate Disco Skills to turn my dreams into reality.
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Bring your dance mat down to the van and we can bust some moves!
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Sorry, heading to work now. No time for dancing….
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Just one! Before you go!
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And that’s what bad friends do. They try to influence you for the Bad.
Look at me, being so responsible and not dancing!
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Well, you can have a boogie now. Belgian boom rave, anyone?
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You bring the Belgian, I’ll bring the Boom and somebody else can bring the rave.
and cheetos. You have to have cheetos at BBR…
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I think they’re called Wotsits in the UK
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Well, as long they’re delicious and artificially orange and stain your fingers, then I’m good with whatever you call them 😀
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That’s them. Had no idea you were such a Renaissance man.
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I’ve learned a lot since I de-carnated from Travolta.
It’s a amazing what clarity comes to you when the disco ball shines just right into your eyes. And those suitpants, forcing all the blood to your head? It’s like being Einstein every time you pu them on!
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Do you do that Cossack dance? Travolta used to do that…
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That’s actually why I’m still reading Gulag Archipelago. I’m waiting for Ol’Sol to give me some step by step instructions on proper cossack steps.
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It is a key text for any aspiring dancer. Ever think of going pro? Word on the street is it could still be a career…
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I’m a true arteest, not a money whore. Not like that Picasso guy!
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Travolta= artist. Picasso= zero. Everyone knows that. Staying Alive is a huge account of a dancer’s struggle. You would relate to it.
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I was always a fan of the B side of Staying Alive, ironically named Staying Dead…
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One would hope for the dead to stay dead, and the alive to remain alive; Psychic Grandma.
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If anyone was going to do a musical rap number about crossing over, Psychic G would be the one to do it!
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She’s more dead than alive, and staying that way!
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Is that the name of her new album?
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Psychic Grandma Comes Alive is the full title.
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Excellent. I have all her previous albums but wasn’t sure when the new one was coming out. I’ll keep an eye out on those 50p bins….
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If you had to pick a favourite, what would it be?
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I’ve always been partial to Ghost in the Typewriter. Her disdain for tech really shines through and I think her message of returning to a simpler, more brutal time is refreshing.
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That would be in my top 5, although I wish Billy Joel’s duet was better produced. I liked Psychic Grandma’s Party Album, where she mixed her Luddite sympathies with some hard house ompah beats. Slamming!
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I can see why you chose that Party Album. It really raises the roof.
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A little too much, according to some stories. Some believe that the roof collapse that killed her was due to long term structural issues caused by loud playing of that disc.
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She would have wanted to go out like that though. marching to her own drum beat, hahahahaa!
*wipes a tear*
Ahhh, PSychic G, you were taken from us too soon!
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She literally blew the roof off her own little cottage. Classic PSG!
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Ooof… good luck mate. Hate it when a series just dies of becuase the author got tired with his creation.
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I have never seen it this blatant before 😦
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I look forward to the inevitably entertaining review 😉
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I hope it’s entertaining and not as “bleh” as this. It’s just dispiriting to read this.
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Ah shame you’re having such a bad time with this one!
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Yeah, this is not a good way to end a series 😦
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What’s stopping you from a good ol’ DNF this time around? 😀 Is it just the idea that you’ve invested already so much time with the previous books that you want to complete this one cleanly, even if it’s horrible? 😀
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In a word, yes.
This is the final book in the series and I’m in it to the utter end.
For all my talk and yelling about dnf’ing and telling everyone else they need to dnf more, I have a VERY hard time doing it. Because what if *fill in your reason for today* and at heart I’m a completionist.
I am getting to the point where it is easier to drop a series than a particular book. So I’m still accomplishing my goal of not wasting my time, but on a slightly longer term scale? That’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it!
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